Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think about you every night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed