I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
