508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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