This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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