ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
