hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
