There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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