Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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