i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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