This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize