is your mom at the bar?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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