You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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