Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
