If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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