she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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