I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
