I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
