i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
