You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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