How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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