I puked a lego.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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