we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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