Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she smelled like a LAN party
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
