no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
