Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
