Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize