Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
