Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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