Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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