We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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