He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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