This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
