No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
