All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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