Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The power of my boobs compel you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
