Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize