what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
