if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
