All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Randomize
