Pappa wants mamma naked
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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