why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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