hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
