who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The best revenge is premature balding
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
