New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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