After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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