yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize