I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
