dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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