16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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