Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ttyl tear gas
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
