I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
