i jhust puked up my retainher.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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