Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Porn is love you can see.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
