forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
