God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
