Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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