Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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