Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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