I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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