if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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